Reasons
by RedSlashwolf
Summary: Summary: What if Sonic had a hernia? Why is Tails afraid of Ronald McDonald? Is Knuckles a pervert? What happens when Shadow goes to church? My first story. Please review.


**Reasons**

**What if Sonic had a hernia?**

**Sonic was running at the speed of sound from a pink hedgehog "come on Sonic one date please!" Sonic looked back "go away!" all the sudden he stopped "OH CRAP!" and he fell over clutching his stomach Amy started to panic "Sonic! What's wrong?" Sonic glared "what does it look like" Amy thought for a minute "um... gas pain" a sweat drop went down Sonics head and hissed "no you dwit! I'm having a hernia!" Amy panicked even more after hearing that "don't worry I'll do something I promise" Amy ran off to get help. Amy came back and told Sonic "I have good news and bad news" Sonic asked "what's the good news?" Amy answered "the good news is I found a doctor" Sonic got impatient "and?" Amy continued "and I found a penny! Yay!" Sonic rolled his eyes "well la de freakin da! What's the bad news?" Amy continued "the bad news is the doctor isn't professionally trained and doesn't have a license" Sonics jaw dropped "WHAT! WHAT DO MEAN HE'S NOT PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED AND DOSN"T HAVE A LICENSE!!!" Amy shrugged "I don't know but it might work." The crabby patty mobile came and Dr. Patrick from bikini bottom came out "hi uh, Dr. Patrick at your" Patrick started to drool. Sponge Bob came out and snapped his fingers "service" Patrick finished. Sonic and Amy look at them "oh...my...gosh" All the sudden Sandy came over "Patrick you need a real doctor, I told you that remember." Patrick got angry "Sandy I can do it!" One hour later. "Ok Mr. Sonic you are now alright" Sonic and Amy sighed of relief "Sonic I was so worried!" she said as she hugged him. Sonic thought 'maybe I should do something nice, she was the only on with me when this happen and she looked as if she was going to have a heart attack' Sonic asked "hey Amy, want to get something to eat?" Amy smiled "that would be wonderful thank you" and they walked off to their next destination.**

**Note: I hope they don't go to McDonalds. Read the next story to find out why.**

**Why is Tails afraid of Ronald McDonald?**

"**Hello Mr. Tails" Cream the rabbit greeted Tails "hey Cream" Cream noticed Tails was acting weird "um Tails, what's the matter?" Tails had a look of fear on his face "are the evil space monkeys stealing your peanut butter and carrots again?" Tails shook his head franticly "no, it not that this time, this time I'm watching for Ronald McDonald" Cream made a face "what's wrong with him?" Tails sighed "It all started when I was three." FLASHBACK. Tails was in a line at McDonalds to get a happy meal and a big mac. When the person behind him heard him order he said rudely "you're going to get fat foxy loxy" Tails gritted his teeth and grabbed him by the neck "look who's talking chubby" Tails was right, the man was really fat "how many times a week do you come here?" the man held his fingers out and counted them "um... pretty much every day breakfast, lunch and dinner" Tail eyes went wide "CRAP! No wonder you're so fat. Do you even get sick?" the man replied "oh yeah everyday and speaking of that get out of the way" Tails screamed and ran to the wall as the man blew chunks "SON OF A CRACKER!" Tails shouted "Crackers! You do eat a lot of this food" after the man was done he finished the conversation saying this "my case has been proven" and walked to get his food. After Tails got his food, he felt something wooden "give me your food" Tails turned to see Ronald McDonald "whoa I knew there was a Ronald McDonald, but I didn't know his voice was rough and that he was also really fat" Ronald still had the gun up "it's called bluffing kid now hand me the food" Tails pointed at the gun "that's a wooden play gun" Ronald got mad "NO IT'S TWINKY! AND IT'S A REAL GUN! I'LL PROVE IT! GRIMICE!" a fat purple blob came out wearing a hat that had a spiny thingy on it and said in a high squeaky voice "yeah Ronald" Ronald held the gun out and shouted "DIE!" and shot him. Grimice didn't die until after five minute of a long, painful death. Tails dropped his food and ran out screaming. END OF FLASHBACK. "And that's how it happened" Cream stood there with her mouth open "wow" Tails then heard the voice of who he feared "hey kid remember me?" Tails turned to see RONALD MCDONALD, (DUN, DUN, DUUUUN!) Tails nearly screamed and told Cream "Cream go get the gun now!" Cream started to get nervous "but Tails I" Tails interrupted "Cream now!" Cream gave the gun to Tails. He threw a gas tank into Ronald McDonald's mouth and aimed the gun "SMILE YOU SON OF A CRACKER!" and the gun went off followed by an explosion. Lying on the ground was Ronald McDonald dead. Tails lowered the gun and turned to Cream and smiled "let's go home" and while walking into the sunset Cream said "you copied off of Jaws didn't you?" Tails replied "I did Cream" and continued walking into the sunset.**

**Is Knuckles a pervert?**

**Knuckles the Echidna stood by the master emerald. He looked down to see Rouge sitting by Knuckles. Knuckles blushed and had some certain thought about her running through his head "my gosh, she is so hot!" Knuckles started to drool. Rouge notice it and had a disgusted look on her face "Knuckles. Wipe your mouth you're drooling" Knuckles replied "sure sweet heart" Rouge looked at him awkwardly and Knuckles shook his head "I mean what ever bat girl!" Rouge smirked; she loved it when he was so childish "ok my little Knuckie" Knuckles turned with a devilish grin on his face "now Rouge you know I don't like being called that" Rouge smiled "I know but" she stopped and saw him looking at something on her, she started to get annoyed "KNUCKLES STOP IT!" Knuckles shot his head up "huh what?" Rouge laugh at the look on his face. Knuckles was gazing at her eyes, she smiled as the Echidna eyes met her own, but got aggravated as his eyes started going back down again. Instead of yelling, she lifted his chin and spoke "why don't we sit down and socialize Knuckles" Knuckles smiled that would be great Rouge" all the sudden, Knuckles kissed her. He pulled back with that devilish grin. Rouge knew what he was up to and said "one step at a time Knuckles."**

**What happens when Shadow goes to church?**

**'Why is this happening to me?' a nicely dressed Shadow thought as he approached a place he never expected to be, church. Silver the hedgehog convinced Shadow to go to church, and it took a lot of effort. When he went over to sit down, the person next to him whispered "you're supposed to kneel and pray" Shadow kneeled down but thought 'pray? How do you pray?' Shadow decided to take a shot 'um I pray for more pancakes?' the music started to play and the priest and the helpers walked up holding a book and a cross. The priest said some prayers and Shadow figured that is how you pray. The priest then said "a reading in the gospel according to Luke" he started "Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understandings and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, "son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety." And he said to them, "why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man" the priest set the book down "we pray to the lord" Shadow stood there dumbstruck 'what the heck was he talking about, I don't understand a thing.' Minutes later it was time to say our father and hold hands, Shadow refused to hold hand with someone "don't touch me or else" Shadow muttered. After they went up for the body and blood of Christ. Shadow only took one piece of breed like he was supposed to but he drank all the wine "what are you doing?!" Shadow grabbed her arm "let me finish, this is what I'm supposed to do" after he was finished he said "besides, I was thirsty" and walk out of the church. As he got home, he heard a knock on ther door. He answered it and saw Silver "how did it go?" Shadow frowned "it was confusing, why did a kid named Jesus ditched his parents to go to a temple" Silver rolled his eyes "ok first he didn't ditch them, second he needed to be there because it was Gods house and he needed to teach" Shadow sat down "well whatever, I'll see you tomorrow" Silver nodded "ok bye" Shadow waved "bye" he closed the door and laid down "man, today was a weird day." **


End file.
